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Learn about my Son
To my Father
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Lynard Skynard
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Those of you who wish to continue reading may feel free to do so, but please understand that this is in no way an attempt to make others feel sorry for what I have gone through. I feel that everytime someone reads this page, a part of my mother will live on. And although her life was as short as it was, people all around the world will get to know her, maybe even understand how important she was to the world, even if it mattered nothing to her what the world felt just as long as her children loved her. And we all did, very, very, very much.
Susan Ricker
died on december 1st, 1984 in Biddeford, Maine. She was killed by the man who said he loved her. She left three children behind. Two of which witnessed the whole event as it took place. The two kids who witnessed the whole thing, thought that it was one of the pranks that she often played on them and did not react as if it were real. They walked around the apartment looking through the windows, waiting for the joke to unfold. Or some kind of sign that she was just kidding. The oldest son snuck in the back door, stood behind the refridgerator, and peeked around it so he could see what was happening. When he saw the blood on the floor, and heard
John Andrews
say, "Shut up Susan, before I put another one in your head." He ran out of the house, grabbed his younger sister and ran several blocks to the fire department. The fire men notified the police department. Just after the police arrived at the apartment they recieved another phone call from John Andrews partner in Business. He told them that he had not seen John in a couple of days and was worried about him. He had visited John's apartment and found an empty gun box and a box of rounds which had a couple bullets missing. He said that he was concerned that John would be coming to Biddeford, Maine that evening to murder Susan Ricker. The police told him that it was too late the murder had just happened and Susan Ricker was dead.
First I would like to thank everyone in Biddeford Maine for thier support right after this happened. I remember people walking up to me and asking me if they could give me a hug. Those people will always be remembered by me. I did not however have as hard a time getting over this as my sister Cheryl did. She and my Mother were very close. I look back on that whole ordeal and thank God that it had happened to me when I was eleven rather then now. I think children have a easier time coping with something tramatic like that. I find a lot of things in my life today still related to my mother dying. It was not until recently that I discovered that I have not really let anyone into my life and heart unless they were in need of some kind of help. I know this may sound weird, its not even 100% clear to me right now. But every relationship I have been involved in has been with someone who needed help in some shape or form. The ones that did not need help, did not last long. A good friend of mine brought it to my attention that maybe I was subconsciencly trying to play the whole Murder out in my head but only with a different outcome. One in which I could have helped my Mother. I think the "What-If's" are what make it worse then it actually is. What if she had not played so many pranks on everyone. I was never really told how sudden her death was, or if those minutes I spent trying to determine if it was all a big hoax, would have actually made a difference in whether or not she lived or died. Probably better that I was not told. And I think a part of me really does not want to know.
Actually I am not as disturbed by the Death of my Mother as much as the fact that the man who killed her is out on parole now. Sometimes I question how fair our justice system is. How can someone who took someone elses life be allowed to have a life of his own now after serving 15 years in prison? Has John really paid his debt to society? And how can murder be justified with a mild sentence because you were drunk when you commited the murder, and unaware of your actions because you were so in love. Some things will never make sence to me!
As far as us kids go, we all have grown up now. Me and Cheryl have both Graduated from High School. Brianna and I have lost contact mostly because of my negligence. But her and Cheryl keep in touch. I plan to be in her life more when I move back to Maine. Brianna remembers nothing of her Mother, but knows she was loved very much. Cheryl is going to school part time to better herself, and now lives in Sanford. As for me, I own my own business now installing flooring. But I too have plans to return to college for a degree in computers I think. None of us are bad off. That has a lot to do with our father. He really helped us get through all of this from the first day. I remember waking up the morning after the murder at my Mother's best friend Debbie's house. Everyone we knew was there to give thier support. Including my Father. We were sat down on the couch, and to me it seems like there was 30 people in the livingroom. The Pastor of our church was the one who told us, and everyone waited for our reaction. But I think both me and Cheryl knew what was happening. I asked Debbie's son Ben the night before to please tell me what was going on. Ben did not want to say, but he eventually told me he thought she was gone. I cannot imagine what it was like for everyone else. To know that they were going to have to break the news to a 9 and 11 year old that thier Mother was gone.
But like I said before, I am not looking for people to feel sorry for me. All the pain is gone now, and now there are memories of my Mother. As weird as it may sound, I actually miss the things she did to me that I thought were cruel at the time. She Loved a good joke. I remember being put on a diet. And to get a second serving of pie was something that did not happen often. But one day she offered it to me, and of course I jumped at the chance. She even asked me if I wanted whipped cream on top. I could not believe she was allowing this. Much to my surprise, I found out that the whipped cream ended up being shaving cream. (The taste is still in my mouth today) Or the time she and my cousin carried me to the bathroom (Mom holding my feet, I dared not kick to free myself) and forcing my head into the toilet while Mom flushed it several times.
She was a great person. I hope you will remember this page. And maybe even pass this page on to people you know so that more people can know who she was, and what a great person she was. Susan Ricker was her name. And she was the best Mother anyone could have ever asked for.
Thank You
