Here are a few pictures of my son. I am sure you have already figured out what his name is from the title above these words. He was born on Christmas Eve, 1999. And even to this day, I am amazed how much you can love someone. It was hard for me at first to deal with that fact that I was a Father. I think most men go through the very same issue on thier first child. At first I was not sure if I loved him the way I was supposed to. And to tell the truth I strongly believe that is what ended splitting me and his mother up. The sad part about the whole thing is I always told myself that I would not bring a child into this world without its Parents being together. I feel now that I had no choice in the matter. We tried to make things work many times after we broke up. I think there is a point where you finally relise that its just not meant to be. And maybe it would be better for the child if you two were not together. I know some will not agree with me. I had a hard time believing it myself.

One thing I do know for sure is that I do love my son very much now. I always did, I just was not given the time in the beginning to understand things. There was so much pressure, and I felt like I was always being tested. I am a person who needs communication. I have always been real good with kids. I have been around them my whole life. I worked with kids from the time I was sixteen, to the present time. But I have never really been around an infant. I need to see the smiles, and hear thier laughter. And many of the kids I have had contact with earlier in my life at a summer camp in Maine, I am still in touch with today. Of course they are not kids anymore. But the point is I watched them grow up. I always thought that my attitude towards kids would make a big difference when I became a Father. But like I said before, it's a different game when dealing with an infant.

None of that really matters now because me and my son are very close now. I love him more then life itself. And I can truely feel his love for me as well. When I do have him, he and I are very close. I love hearing his laughter. And I love watching him run from me when we play together. He is such a great kid. And I think now more then ever I can understand what an innosence a child pocesses. They are truely a blessing. And now that I am moving to Maine, I will surely have some issues I will have to deal with. There are benifits to me moving, and of course disadvantages. Just like anything else in life. I will get him every summer. And to me that will be better in the long run. Three months together straight is a lot of time to show him what I am all about, and do the things I have always wanted to do with my child, as a family.